Ambient Black
05-09-2013, 07:53 PM
Day 1:
JC: Dunbar, dude. We can probably find you an xbox pretty cheap.
DB: Yeah, but ive only got like..60 bucks. That isn't happening.
JC: Craigs list. We can find one.
*We both search craigs list, finding an xbox for 60 bucks*
JC (Texts Number) Hey man you the one selling the xbox
Man: (Texts back) Yes. You interested?
JC: (Txt) Yeah man, any way we could test it?
Man: (Txt) Yeah...just bring all the wires.
JC: Ok man. sounds good.
---A Few hours pass---
ALL in text
Man: Can we meet halfway, the place ya live is pretty far.
JC: How will we test it?
Man: Why would I sell you a broken xbox? Its on craigslist. It's obviously ok. It has a picture of it running!
JC: Well...I mean we could just have ya sign a warrenty or something. Just show some I.D...
Man: Im not telling you who I am. You cheap ass motherfuckers. You wont even fork out 60 dollars for an xbox (increased price). Im just gonna give it away, then. But for you cheap motherfuckers I wouldn't sell it for 300.
(Obviously a defunct xbox) Fuck you assholes.
JC: Well we appreciate your business.
{The next day we find a kind old lady selling one for 60 dollars, meet her. She was really nice, got a warrenty, handshake, and had even a pleasant conversation. Me and JC Jokingly think I that guy is still on cragslist. He is, and lowered the price to 45 bucks. Dunbar, agrees to have the text conversation for a bit of fun.)
DAY 2:
TEXT RECORD:
Dunbar - D
Man - MDD (I re labeled him in my phone as "My drug dealer" so that if I should ever die in a car crash, it is my last jab at the world)
D - You selling an xbox?
MDD: Yes I am45$
MDD: For console only
D- Ah ok, would Lawrenceville be ok? That price sounds amazing! Ill throw in 20 for gas. It works right?
MDD: Yes that's fine and yes it works. When would you like to meet.
D - Kroger off of 5 forks trikem road. 2:30pm?
MDD: Ill be at work then, are you able now?
MDD: I can meet anytime before 1 and after 6pm
D - Ok. 630 then.
(Obviously, to build anticipation I say no)
MDD: Ok cool.
(630 arrives.)
(I erase all messages pertaining to xbox 360 after this in case of my death. I leave the ambiguous ones)
MDD: Are you still interested? If so ill head that way when I get off.
D- Yep! :D
MDD: On my way
D- We're in a blue minivan
(30 minutes pass)
MDD: Hi, Im here. Where are you located.
(20 more minutes pass. The man obviously just got off work to come here and he calls me)
(I Ignore call and 5 more minutes pass. I have no voice mailbox and it doesn't stop ringing for a good 3)
D - I have to pay a fee if I call before nine. U there?
MDD- Yes, I am here
MDD- What kind of care are you in?
D- Blue Chrysler minivan
(The fun begins)
D- I am here. You sure you're at the right Kroger?
MDD- I am in front of the wells fargo. Grey Mercury
D- Wells fargo?
MDD- What's the address to where you are at? Im at the one with burger king in the lot.
D- Adress? To a Kroger? I don't know that. Its on 5 forks.
MDD- What side of the parking lot are you on?
D- Right. I don't see a grey sedan. Im standing here.
MDD- Do you see a burger kind?
D- No. You SURE you're at the right Kroger?
MDD- I am at 5 forks trickem. Uhm. I can get there if I could get the address.
MDD - Or do you see an address or anything I can navigate to your location.
S- THAT is where I am at. Look. If you are trying to waste my time I am just going to go to gamestop.
MDD- I'm here. Honestly. 3050 five forks trikem road.
D- I DONT KN THE DAMNED ADDRESS MAN! IM STANDING RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE FUCKING KROGERS SIGN!
MDD- Don't get mad at me. Im here. Honestly! The only one close to here is Lawrenceville highway!
(He calls three times)
(I wait 5 minutes, and call back on a private number. He of course doesn't answer)
D- Fuck it. I tried to call you back. Im going home.
MDD- Bro! Please call me back. I have private numbers blocked.
(10 minutes pass of us ignoring him.)
MDD- I unblocked it! You're being irate for no reason!
(5 minutes later)
D- No fuck you, im done. This is bullshit. 45 dollars my ass.
MDD- Try again. I unblocked private numbers.
(I ignore him for 10 more minutes)
MDD- Bro call me ive called you three times.
(5 more minutes)
MDD- its a white xbox. Its really 45 dollars and I have it.
(5 more minutes)
MDD- Im at the Kroger on trickem road. WHAT OTHER KROGER!? ???
(5 more minutes)
MDD- Tried again and no answer. This is getting ridiculous.
(He sends me a picture of it. It looks old and decrepit.)
MDD- Waste of my time if you didn't want it you shouldn't have contacted me!
MDD- Its cool im selling the shit to somebody else anyway you dumbass bitch. Grow up. Cheap ass couldn't even afford to make a call and lemme know where you're at.
(These are all in 5 minute increments as he stews. Including the two above)
MDD - Fucking retard!
Me: :D
MDD: The fuck are you happy about.
ME: http://i80.servimg.com/u/f80/18/07/06/58/xbox10.jpg
MDD: Oh you son of a bitch...
JC: Dunbar, dude. We can probably find you an xbox pretty cheap.
DB: Yeah, but ive only got like..60 bucks. That isn't happening.
JC: Craigs list. We can find one.
*We both search craigs list, finding an xbox for 60 bucks*
JC (Texts Number) Hey man you the one selling the xbox
Man: (Texts back) Yes. You interested?
JC: (Txt) Yeah man, any way we could test it?
Man: (Txt) Yeah...just bring all the wires.
JC: Ok man. sounds good.
---A Few hours pass---
ALL in text
Man: Can we meet halfway, the place ya live is pretty far.
JC: How will we test it?
Man: Why would I sell you a broken xbox? Its on craigslist. It's obviously ok. It has a picture of it running!
JC: Well...I mean we could just have ya sign a warrenty or something. Just show some I.D...
Man: Im not telling you who I am. You cheap ass motherfuckers. You wont even fork out 60 dollars for an xbox (increased price). Im just gonna give it away, then. But for you cheap motherfuckers I wouldn't sell it for 300.
(Obviously a defunct xbox) Fuck you assholes.
JC: Well we appreciate your business.
{The next day we find a kind old lady selling one for 60 dollars, meet her. She was really nice, got a warrenty, handshake, and had even a pleasant conversation. Me and JC Jokingly think I that guy is still on cragslist. He is, and lowered the price to 45 bucks. Dunbar, agrees to have the text conversation for a bit of fun.)
DAY 2:
TEXT RECORD:
Dunbar - D
Man - MDD (I re labeled him in my phone as "My drug dealer" so that if I should ever die in a car crash, it is my last jab at the world)
D - You selling an xbox?
MDD: Yes I am45$
MDD: For console only
D- Ah ok, would Lawrenceville be ok? That price sounds amazing! Ill throw in 20 for gas. It works right?
MDD: Yes that's fine and yes it works. When would you like to meet.
D - Kroger off of 5 forks trikem road. 2:30pm?
MDD: Ill be at work then, are you able now?
MDD: I can meet anytime before 1 and after 6pm
D - Ok. 630 then.
(Obviously, to build anticipation I say no)
MDD: Ok cool.
(630 arrives.)
(I erase all messages pertaining to xbox 360 after this in case of my death. I leave the ambiguous ones)
MDD: Are you still interested? If so ill head that way when I get off.
D- Yep! :D
MDD: On my way
D- We're in a blue minivan
(30 minutes pass)
MDD: Hi, Im here. Where are you located.
(20 more minutes pass. The man obviously just got off work to come here and he calls me)
(I Ignore call and 5 more minutes pass. I have no voice mailbox and it doesn't stop ringing for a good 3)
D - I have to pay a fee if I call before nine. U there?
MDD- Yes, I am here
MDD- What kind of care are you in?
D- Blue Chrysler minivan
(The fun begins)
D- I am here. You sure you're at the right Kroger?
MDD- I am in front of the wells fargo. Grey Mercury
D- Wells fargo?
MDD- What's the address to where you are at? Im at the one with burger king in the lot.
D- Adress? To a Kroger? I don't know that. Its on 5 forks.
MDD- What side of the parking lot are you on?
D- Right. I don't see a grey sedan. Im standing here.
MDD- Do you see a burger kind?
D- No. You SURE you're at the right Kroger?
MDD- I am at 5 forks trickem. Uhm. I can get there if I could get the address.
MDD - Or do you see an address or anything I can navigate to your location.
S- THAT is where I am at. Look. If you are trying to waste my time I am just going to go to gamestop.
MDD- I'm here. Honestly. 3050 five forks trikem road.
D- I DONT KN THE DAMNED ADDRESS MAN! IM STANDING RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE FUCKING KROGERS SIGN!
MDD- Don't get mad at me. Im here. Honestly! The only one close to here is Lawrenceville highway!
(He calls three times)
(I wait 5 minutes, and call back on a private number. He of course doesn't answer)
D- Fuck it. I tried to call you back. Im going home.
MDD- Bro! Please call me back. I have private numbers blocked.
(10 minutes pass of us ignoring him.)
MDD- I unblocked it! You're being irate for no reason!
(5 minutes later)
D- No fuck you, im done. This is bullshit. 45 dollars my ass.
MDD- Try again. I unblocked private numbers.
(I ignore him for 10 more minutes)
MDD- Bro call me ive called you three times.
(5 more minutes)
MDD- its a white xbox. Its really 45 dollars and I have it.
(5 more minutes)
MDD- Im at the Kroger on trickem road. WHAT OTHER KROGER!? ???
(5 more minutes)
MDD- Tried again and no answer. This is getting ridiculous.
(He sends me a picture of it. It looks old and decrepit.)
MDD- Waste of my time if you didn't want it you shouldn't have contacted me!
MDD- Its cool im selling the shit to somebody else anyway you dumbass bitch. Grow up. Cheap ass couldn't even afford to make a call and lemme know where you're at.
(These are all in 5 minute increments as he stews. Including the two above)
MDD - Fucking retard!
Me: :D
MDD: The fuck are you happy about.
ME: http://i80.servimg.com/u/f80/18/07/06/58/xbox10.jpg
MDD: Oh you son of a bitch...