Story Open Convo

[Andimion]

Follow the accords and be respectful and supportive. Constructive criticism is helpful but you know the line.

[PhoenixPrime]

Feel free to post comment, compliments, or critiques about the story. I can't guarantee I'll always follow your advice, as I am the final authority on where this story goes, but the more activity you guys post here, the more likely I'll want to write more. (It's always fun to see that people like your work, after all.)

Andimion, am I going to be able to post in my own closed topics, or be a moderator here?

[Andimion]

I made you mod of this sub forum. Please make sure you close all your story posts so that nobody can post and ruin them.

You can do it in 1 of 2 ways. Either just post in that one topic, or create a new topic with a number progression system so people know the start from the finish. 1-100 You know what I mean.

[PhoenixPrime]

I'll keep posting in that topic, and ask that everyone post their comments and stuff here. I definitely like the encouragement.



So guys...


What did you think?

[Bodaciousbaconn]

I LOVE YOUR STORY.


Especially since my character is finally approved. :)

[PhoenixPrime]

Your character is officially part of BLUE Squad (As I've called them for now.)

They're one of the main antagonists for a good bit of the story (Possibly all.)

When Delta regroups, prepare for some serious firefighting. The last bit was all about the backstory. This next bit, will be about some combat. I won't be using Andimion's perspective for the whole story. It's going to move around as I keep writing, so expect to see all of your character's perspective at some point.

[Bodaciousbaconn]

Good idea on the multiple perspectives. Personally, these are my favorite kinds of stories. I am retiring for the night, so see you all tomorrow.

[Andimion]

Angel, you should make a topic to apply to be in the story. Make in your primary post a list of all the people and their abilities. Make the bios a different post. Or do it how ever you want really. Its up to you.

[PhoenixPrime]

I plan on having a topic of all the stuff you guys had for your characters, and my justifications for your abilities, and who is in what squad etc. I'm working on that now

[d3ad1te]

Maybe ill draw you like a book cover haha just for shits n gigs.

I've been dabbling in digital art for the past month of so.

[PhoenixPrime]

Dude that would be tight!

[d3ad1te]

30 minutes or so of doodling.
http://img843.imageshack.us/img843/9408/roughdrafts.jpg (http://img843.imageshack.us/i/roughdrafts.jpg/)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (http://imageshack.us)

[LocoCrazy]

Need something fixed. My charecters name is Sev not Shev.

Aside from that I enjoyed it. keep on goin home slice.

[Hazy]

*High Fives WsAngel*

You just won the game. Congratulations.

[Nocte]

It was well written and honestly seems pretty badass. To me I picture a WWII scene only with Top Secret projects being used.

[Maxdoggy]

Very nice, Angel.

However, I would probably introduce a "Featured" section in each posting you make to show who is who.

EX: Andimion as Andimion; EriRI as Eric; etc.

[Bodaciousbaconn]

how often can we expect a new entry Angel???

[Andimion]

Im pretty sure, other than a select few.. Your going to know who is who. Loco and and a few others would require that kind of background.

[Bodaciousbaconn]

hehe. My name is Jacob "Bacon" Hogg :D

[Kuhblam]

Advice? Add a character list section as Maxdoggy said. Otherwise, good writing.

~Kuhblam

[d3ad1te]

Understandable

Really don't know why this has its own forum.

[PhoenixPrime]

I like having my own forum for it though. It'll allow me to have separate topics for you guys to read for the character list and plot summary and whatnot.

[Kuhblam]

Meh, was just saying Deadite; not a big deal. Already edited out that part from the post.

~Kuhblam

[Fuzzy]

I enjoyed the good read, I really like how the story is going. Continue the good work!

[VerbotenDonkey]

Hey Red, if you would like, Im sorry I skimped out on my personality section for my character, honestly it was late and I was just trying to get my character in before you might say "no more characters allowed." So if you'd like, I can elaborate on some stuff for ya.

[PhoenixPrime]

Hey Red, if you would like, Im sorry I skimped out on my personality section for my character, honestly it was late and I was just trying to get my character in before you might say "no more characters allowed." So if you'd like, I can elaborate on some stuff for ya.



You're certainly welcome to do that. I'm going to be pulling up a master list for all the info you guys will need for the story tonight. I'll get in some writing too, so you'll possibly be getting a second installment.

[Andimion]

I look forward to the well organized Character and bio section of your story.

@Deadite, I made the subforum in a creative writing section. Its perfectly aloud and doesnt make any un needed posts. I will happily make a section for anyone writing something and wish it to be cataloged and on the site.

[ChillSquishster]

First I want to say this an amazing story and I can't wait to read more of it. I also want to ask something about the story though just so I know for sure. In the story you mentioned a BLUE spartan that shot lightning. Is this ThatRussianBear's character because I remember in the thread about our characters you mentioned giving him the power of electricity.

[Bodaciousbaconn]

Chill, I'm just saying, since Ol' Boy in the story got Shanked, I would doubt it was Bear's character. But thats just me.

[PhoenixPrime]

That was Russian's character. He's still alive after all, don't forget that. Spartans don't go down THAT easy, Red or Blue.

[ThatRussianBear]

KA-SHANK

[d3ad1te]

WIP

http://img811.imageshack.us/img811/3833/roughdraft.jpg (http://img811.imageshack.us/i/roughdraft.jpg/)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (http://imageshack.us)

[PhoenixPrime]

That's pretty good Deadite. Can't wait to see the finished product.

[d3ad1te]

Almost done!
http://img26.imageshack.us/img26/212/fcsaga.jpg (http://img26.imageshack.us/i/fcsaga.jpg/)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (http://imageshack.us)

[Bodaciousbaconn]

I NEEDZ MAH NEW UPDATE.

[Hazy]

Are you at least CLOSE to the new chapter??

[PhoenixPrime]

You mean the chapter I just put up?


Yes, I think I am.


:)

[ChillSquishster]

That was another great chapter. Got to see some great conflict between the two sides. Now I want to keep reading more but I have to wait again.

[Fuzzy]

That was awesome, another great entry!

If I could, I would give you a round of applause.

[Hazy]

*Claps unendingly*


Any estimate as to when the new chapter's coming out?

[PhoenixPrime]

Dude I just posted it this morning. I don't exactly bleed stories out. (Though, if I did, I'd SO be emo.)


I'm going to start writing the next one now, but idk exactly when it'll be out. Post your theories as to what it will hold inside

Should be fun

[Hazy]

As you haven't realized I'm incredibly impatient, and you're a good writer.

Soooooo ya, I'll be waiting.

[Andimion]

Can I ask for a favor Angel. Would you kindly allow me to proof read and make any spelling/grammatic editing required. To both chapters.

[PhoenixPrime]

Yeah that's definitely fine. I don't have time to go back over what I write, at the rate these guys are demanding it. I just write and post.

[Andimion]

There is no problem at all. All writers make mistakes. It's just these small ones that jump out and pick at me.. -_-' For now on ill be editing any errors as I read them. So if you see my name as last edited by, dont freak out.

[PhoenixPrime]

That's fine.


Feel free to tell me what you thought about the the content too.

[Bodaciousbaconn]

Another great entry. The flow of things is great and the battle scenes are intense. Couple questions though, Would you mind to elaborate on who was who with the BLUE spartans? I was slightly confused when they were introduced.

[LocoCrazy]

Hah! Eri, Loco, Agamemnon and Aftershock having trouble with 3 blue Spartans! Thats a knee slapper!

[Andimion]

Installments 1 and 2 both proof read for grammar and spelling. Let me know if I missed something.

Also, Angel. As an english major I feel the need to point out slight holes in your story.

#1

The original Blue Special troop count was 3. The spartan's Andimion encountered and fled from. Then the Colonel and Eric encounter the same spartans. Eric is blown through the walls and is now out side, followed by the spartan that blew him through it. Andimion intervenes and saves Eric and combats the explosive spartan ( who im pretty much sure is Dinner, correct? ) so as Andimion is occupied Eric is flanked by another spartan, who we all were assuming was another 1 of the 3 spartans that were the initial counter group.

Thats 2 spartans no longer in the command center with the Colonel. Now Omega shows up and sees the Colonel get blown through another wall. He then explains that there are 3 tangos inside, and 1 engaging Eric around the other side in the trenches. You just magic spawned 2 spartans from thin air.

#2

The original objective of Delta was to shut down the anti air batteries that were hammering the UNSC air out of the sky. The objective was lost in sections and caused confusion for readers who were paying attention. The time when the Hornets launched the salvo at Omega, the complained about Delta not shutting them down.

Why would enemy Anti-Air be a problem with the enemy air as well. The only loophole I can see is that the Enemy anti air is preventing the UNSC air from dog fighting the enemy in the air and preventing those Hornets from attacking ground troops. But that wasnt part of the objective.


Thats all I have to say. The story is great and I really enjoy it. Just try and prevent holes in your story. =P

[PhoenixPrime]

I don't think you guys got your butt kicked. Yeah, you got tossed out of a bunker, but you got right back up didn't you? Andimion pretty much did fine.



Well, anyway, wait til' you see the rematch. None of the squads have really been present for a full-on fight.

[PhoenixPrime]

Andimion, your troop count is incorrect. (This may be my fault though.)


The two people that were encountered in the first installment are not encountered at all in the second one. Andimion retreated from those two, and what they did is unknown to the Imperial guys. Those two were Sam and Allan Harrison


The three encountered in this were the rest of the Blue Bravo Squad. The light green Spartan is Bacon, the Sky Blue Spartan is Victor. The guy wearing a cutdown version of MJOLNIR is Lucius Black, which was why he could keep up with Loco.



Just to clarify, the command center and the anti-air gun bunker are in two different locations. I'll try to keep you guys informed on all that stuff. I'll update the bio's with armor colors and stuff like that.


Dinner's character hasn't been seen yet. If he did, you would know.

[Andimion]

Mini nuke.. Sounds so retarded..

[PhoenixPrime]

I kind of envisioned him as being one of those guys that you hear about a lot in the story, but you don't actually face off til the end or something like that. Otherwise it would just be too cheap and pointless.

Having him a ship-killer though, that gives another reason as to why the Empire has lost so much ground to the Brotherhood, which is what I wanted to do.

[Hazy]

The whole mini-nuke in itself seems to be a kind of pat down way of describing dinner's power, the way I see it.

I believe, from what i've read in its entirety, it's supposed to be some sort of huge ass energy pulsation similar to the one seen on the blue spartan that wrecked Eric. Except on a much larger scale, and with more explosives. Lots of explosives.

Anyways I forgot to give you a compliment on the battles in the stories. Awesome job! Whenever I read them I always end up with cliche's like...."he shot him, and proceeded to dive to cover. He then shot back"......Great descriptiveness....ocity. ..thing....mabob....the batman symbol.

But yeah honestly this is looking up to be an awesome tale :) Keep up the good work.

[Mi Boys Dinner]

Mini nuke.. Sounds so retarded..

Dinner comes up with something, at least one person says it's retarded.

I ain't even mad. Deal with it.

[d3ad1te]

Ok done with the cover, loved the new entry.
http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/212/fcsaga.jpg (http://img689.imageshack.us/i/fcsaga.jpg/)

Uploaded with ImageShack.us (http://imageshack.us)

and the MI had mini nukes!

[Maxdoggy]

Very nice, good sir!

(Which good sir am I talking about? Why, both of you, d3ad1te and Angel both!)

[Nocte]

I don't know if you are going to be adding more Dead1te but it looks really good.

[PhoenixPrime]

I definitely like the final version of the cover.


The new entry will likely be posted Saturday. I'll be writing it while practicing on Halo for the battles next Sunday. (That's right, I'm fighting.)

[Hazy]

I'm pretty sure we figured that....

[PhoenixPrime]

Well, I'm spending tonight and most of tomorrow doing nothing but schoolwork. (No sleep... At all.)


During that time, I'll also be packing, doing two major exams, printing out roughly sixty sheets of paper, and cleaning my room of all dust since I'm checking out of it on Friday. I get home on Friday, and I'll be unpacking that night. Saturday is devoted to video games and writing, so that will be when you get the next installment. (It's not due to apathy, I promise.)

[Hazy]

No, I meant no surprise that you're fighting XD

What, were you just going to sit on the sidelines and watch? That's no fun, so Its assumed you're fighting as well as all that other shit in your life. No sarcasm intended XD

[Fuzzy]

Are we to expect a new addition to your story soon?

[PhoenixPrime]

Soon, very soon. The semester is over and I've got four weeks of break. I expect that part one of the saga will be complete by the end of those four weeks. At least three characters will meet their end by that time. You are welcome to guess who, and how.

[AftershocK]

better not be me my character is too awesomesauce

[LocoCrazy]

Well went it comes to death and Loco something very stupid happens thats ends up killing me (that goes for all types of video games)

I'll be in the middle of a battle, about to kill a very important enemy...then thats when it happens. an asteroid lands directly on top of me.


How's my aim?

[Andimion]

I hope my character doesnt die.. Im in need of a good distraction and this story did a good fair job of that..

[Hazy]

DONT KILL THE CHILDREN!!!!!!! (Or child in this case....)

[PhoenixPrime]

You guys are just going to have to wait. I think I've picked my favorite four characters, and those four characters will not die in the story, but you guys don't know which ones they are. (I've use one as a perspective so far, the others I've used as a perspective are not in my top list.)



New installment shall be up either Wednesday night, or Thursday midday.

[Bodaciousbaconn]

The light green Spartan is Bacon,






That's right. I punched one of you Redd guys in the face.:cool:Get at me bro.

[Andimion]

That's right. I punched one of you Redd guys in the face.:cool:Get at me bro.

It was to be expected in a 2side perspective story. lol There was an exchange of metaphoric and physical blows thus far.

[ChillSquishster]

I don't mean to be a bother but I was just curious as to when the next part was going to be up. You said late wednesday or mid thrusday and it is now friday. if your still working on it thats fine I was just hoping for an update on the progress.

[Andimion]

^ What he said. I require a fair piece of literature.

[Bodaciousbaconn]

I require moar facepunching for my character.

[PhoenixPrime]

Sorry guys, I'm going to have to confess that I've been taken up with summer. See, I spend all semester being busy, trying to publish my novel, writing another novel, and all the extra crap in between. Now that all of that is over, I LOVE playing xbox.


I'm writing it all out now, so it should be up soon. (I won't make the mistake of saying WHEN, because idk how soon that shall actually be. Thanks for your patience!)

[ChillSquishster]

well don't say thanks for being patient yet, I have been searching about 3 times a day on the forums to see if the next part is up. hopefully it comes up soon but take your time so its as good as the first two

[PhoenixPrime]

It's probably going to be tonight. I've been writing a good bit, and it looks to be over eight pages in length. Be checking for it

[VerbotenDonkey]

Looks like REDD team is in the shitter! /rim-shot'd

[ChillSquishster]

another great part, may not be as action fileld but i liked it. got to see what the REDDs are planning for the future. I wonder if it will all go the way they want it to...

[Hazy]

Interesting.....I too share the ideal of travelling through a sewer pipe......

[PhoenixPrime]

Yes, you have a world filled of sewer humor for jokes. Use it.

[Nocte]

I love the story so far, can't wait to read more.

My over-all opinion is very good, I can't really spot any mistakes or things that don't make sense.

[Bodaciousbaconn]

I agree with Eagle. I do think that WE SHOULD HAVE MoRE ENTRIES!!!!


Lol Jk take your time angel

[ChillSquishster]

I know it may seem like im bugging a lot about this but how is the next part of the story coming along? I know a lot of a stuff has been going on recently in the community so im not even sure if you've had time to continue writing yet. So hopefully we can get an update soon?

[Bodaciousbaconn]

RAWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRR UPDATE BLARRRRGGGGG

[Bodaciousbaconn]

We need to keep this on the front page so Angel can see it.

[Hazy]

*Waits*

Wow, right when the story was getting good too....

[ChillSquishster]

Hopefully in the next part we get to see more of the battles instead of a sewage drain almost taking out the REDDs

[johnkilla56]

I just read the whole thing because of these posts and i thought it was amazing, but then it stoped.

[Hazy]

I just read the whole thing because of these posts and i thought it was amazing, but then it stoped.

Welcome to our world.

[ChillSquishster]

yes the story has been amazing, thats why we have been trying to find out when the next part will come out

[PhoenixPrime]

Things to be posted today:


Story updating schedule- A schedule that you all can keep me accountable on.

Story Item Database Topic- A topic featuring each and every weapon and vehicle used in the story, and which side utilizes them. A back story as to why those are being used by a faction will be included.

If I find new weapons that people have created online that I like, I'll add them as well.

Story so far topic- I will post and update summaries of the story for new readers, or old readers who need a refresher on the story.

Update Character Info Topic- I'll update the topic to include personalities, pictures, and favorite tactics.

Location Index- A topic featuring each major location mentioned in the story and the story behind each location.





Any other suggestions?

[Fuzzy]

Sweet, glad you are starting this story up again Angel.

I remember you started this when I first joined the community.

[PhoenixPrime]

I remember you started this when I first joined the community.


And we've come full circle again. With all the crazy/disruptive things going on in the community now, I figured it was time to revitalize this.

[Bodaciousbaconn]

Well, we're all glad you did. So, what are we gonna do with the people's characters who've left?

[PhoenixPrime]

Well, we're all glad you did. So, what are we gonna do with the people's characters who've left?

They will stay in the story, though I'm always open to new ideas as long as you guys keep feeding them to me. So far, I've already gotten a few deaths planned, but they were going to happen anyway.

[VerbotenDonkey]

I love being the Omega of the Spartans xD

[Bodaciousbaconn]

So, I know you probably get tired of this, but when can we expect everything to be up? I gotta do an English paper, so I'll just get to that.

[PhoenixPrime]

I'd say I'll get the new topics up today, and fix the original posts with the new details and names for all the weaponry and vehicles.


By Wednesday evening, you should get a new post. Whether that happens tomorrow or Wednesday is just dependent on my time.




Yes Verboten, you are the Omega, but that can backfire just as much as it can help. Imagine if you tried to mimic one of the AI or nanobot characters, or the Forerunner Combat skin that Victor wears, or if you copied Loco's character's powers for too long?

[VerbotenDonkey]

Haha well thanks for spoiling how I will most likely be dying =P

[PhoenixPrime]

Haha well thanks for spoiling how I will most likely be dying

Or how your comrades are going to have to save you. I've got plans for you. For example, what lies in the ruins of Danta that both sides want so much? Can you copy its power as well?

[VerbotenDonkey]

And now I feel important =D

[PhoenixPrime]

lulz


Assume nothing Donkey.

[ChillSquishster]

Okay so I was wondering if we could get an update perhaps???

[Juggernaut9473]

Okay so I was wondering if we could get an update perhaps???
^^^this^^^

[Juggernaut9473]

bump


moar plz?

[PhoenixPrime]

I've given you all a new post.


I'll be able to post on more consistent basis now that the semester is over. I won't promise when the next one comes out, but it will feature what Omega is doing while Delta is attacking the vehicle facility.

[Bodaciousbaconn]

<3 I love you, in a platonic way.

[PhoenixPrime]

I'm assuming you liked it then?

[Bodaciousbaconn]

Yes! And the fact i'ge been waiting for this:D

[VerbotenDonkey]

We want to hear more about Bravo Squad! =P

[ChillSquishster]

We want to hear more about Bravo Squad! =P

This^^ we already saw that russians guy is in the fight and now I am wondering where the rest of Bravo is at.

[PhoenixPrime]

You guys will see more of BRAVO in the installment after next. However, new members of the Brotherhood side shall show themselves at Strong Tower, and will face Omega for the first time. I might just post that one up in an hour or two.

[Nocte]

Have you been writing?

[PhoenixPrime]

Yes, I have. The semester is pretty much over, so I have tons more free time. Between this and my novel, I'm writing a ton now.

[ChillSquishster]

You guys will see more of BRAVO in the installment after next. However, new members of the Brotherhood side shall show themselves at Strong Tower, and will face Omega for the first time. I might just post that one up in an hour or two.

Can you update the character section then when you post it up just so we can see who all these new characters are, just a suggestion so nobody gets confused.

[PhoenixPrime]

Yes, though some of them have already been revealed, but not shown in the story.

[PhoenixPrime]

Character bios updated, and a new section detailing Omega's mission is now up. Two new BRAVO members are revealed, and the next part of the story is going to have all of Delta and Omega fight all of BRAVO, and the Brotherhood leader will make an appearance.

Time to find out why the Brotherhood has been winning a good portion of the war so far. So far, Imperial forces have done pretty well in pushing them back, but what you all need to realize is that momentum is the main reason that the Empire has been winning. What happens when the Brotherhood has time to counter strike?

[ChillSquishster]

I am liking how this story is turning out. I also like that we finally have more members for BRAVO team, they seem to work great. Can't wait to see how things will turn out with everyone fighting.

[VerbotenDonkey]

Go BRAVO 3! ^_^

Lovin' the story so far. Interesting plot and character development and storyline you've developed. Can't wait to read more!

[Fuzzy]

Go BRAVO 3! ^_^

OMEGA ALL THE WAY!

[PhoenixPrime]

See, it's good feedback like that which makes me want to write more. Keep it coming, and I'll post another installment today.

[Nocte]

I need to see Omega in action!

Also did Delta just blow up the tower or the depot? Cause it seemed to me that they blew up the tower with the way you wrote it.

Also I love how you use the Spartan's Forerunner abilities!

Keep it coming I love this story.

[Juggernaut9473]

this story is so awesome, you need to make this a book redleader :thumbsup:

[ChillSquishster]

If it can be possible, maybe later on have a story from the point of view from BRAVO team, just so there side of the story can be known as well

[PhoenixPrime]

If it can be possible, maybe later on have a story from the point of view from BRAVO team, just so there side of the story can be known as well

Already in the works.


Delta blew up the depot, and Omega launched the assault on the tower.


I won't be able to post another installment today, because I just figured out that I have an 8-page paper due tomorrow, plus a 20 minute presentation.

[Juggernaut9473]

tomorrow then? :)

[ChillSquishster]

tomorrow then? :)

I hope he says yes to this :D

[PhoenixPrime]

New Update on 05/07


Be ready for death...

[Juggernaut9473]

update today?

[Nocte]

update today?

Better be an update damnit!

[PhoenixPrime]

Yeah, didn't happen. I was moving back into my house.


I might put it up today, definitely by tomorrow.

[silversleek]

moar updates.

anyways,


/spoilers










deckards dead now or what?

[PhoenixPrime]

deckards dead now or what?


It's in the new update. It's about ten pages long so far, but it should still be longer before I'm done.

[Juggernaut9473]

The suspense is killing me

[ChillSquishster]

Any news yet on that next section of the story. I can't wait much longer or I will go insane xD

[silversleek]

seriously, people who write stories or make comics on the internet should just quit their day-jobs. how else will we get our fix?

[Juggernaut9473]

^^

[PhoenixPrime]

I tried finishing it today, but my laptop crashed on me, and I lost about two pages of work. After that, it's a bit hard to find the drive to finish the latest installment. :(

[Bodaciousbaconn]

Your drive should be to please us so we don't turn into rabid animals.

[PhoenixPrime]

Your drive should be to please us so we don't turn into rabid animals.


That's it, your character is DEAD!





















...jk

[Juggernaut9473]

or are you?

[PhoenixPrime]

Read the new post and find out. Post all your compliments and whatnot here.

[silversleek]

twas a good tale. i love the fight. especially how that one guy lights me on fire. that was pretty cool.

[MedeDust]

It needs more.... Dust....

[silversleek]

dust?

[VerbotenDonkey]

Sooo is Bravo 3 dead? O.o

[MedeDust]

dust?

No. Dust.

[silversleek]

sorry. Dust?

[MedeDust]

sorry. Dust?

Dust, MedeDust. ;)

[PhoenixPrime]

Dust, MedeDust

Make a character.


Sooo is Bravo 3 dead? O.o

You'll find out in the next part. It's from the BRAVO perspective. I've finally chosen which BRAVO soldier's point of view I'll write from.

[Juggernaut9473]

i think u should use my character =P

[PhoenixPrime]

i think u should use my character


Give me a new power. I probably won't use the back story you posted, but I'm always up for new characters.

[Juggernaut9473]

That battle was so full of epicness

[PhoenixPrime]

I haven't even introduced the leader of the Brotherhood yet.


He'll be revealed soon.

[ChillSquishster]

It was awesome, just wish my guy didn't end up getting captured. Could be interesting though to see what happens to him

[PhoenixPrime]

It was awesome, just wish my guy didn't end up getting captured. Could be interesting though to see what happens to him


Well, I knew that someone had to be captured in that fight, and so I sat down and weighed all the options. I chose your character because he hasn't been given much spotlight in the story. His power is more passive, and so I decided to make him central to the interactions that BRAVO has, and the first captive from BRAVO that the Empire has.

[ChillSquishster]

Well, I knew that someone had to be captured in that fight, and so I sat down and weighed all the options. I chose your character because he hasn't been given much spotlight in the story. His power is more passive, and so I decided to make him central to the interactions that BRAVO has, and the first captive from BRAVO that the Empire has.

Well yeah but I hope my character gets to show more skill then he has so far. And when you say first do you mean more are going to be captured???? xD

[VerbotenDonkey]

It was awesome, just wish my guy didn't end up getting captured. Could be interesting though to see what happens to him

At least your character doesn't potentially die! =P

[ChillSquishster]

At least your character doesn't potentially die! =P

I could still die, my armor is shut down and I have been captured. Doesn't look to good for my guy so far lol

[Juggernaut9473]

We shall see what redleader had in mind

Can't wait for the next installment

[PhoenixPrime]

Posting the new update today. This update will be from both side's perspective. I will be bringing in new players as far as the Brotherhood side, and the Imperials will suffer a surprise they could have never predicted.

[ChillSquishster]

Is the surprise that they all become friends when they are promised cake?

[PhoenixPrime]

No.

The surprise is that several new, original, characters will appear, and the Empire, who has been winning a good amount so far, is about to face more difficulties in the war, as the full might of the Brotherhood will be revealed. If you recall, the Imperials have been losing the war pretty badly, and now the reason they have been losing will be shown.


EDIT: Fresh update, get it while it's hot!

[silversleek]

nice update. another plox.

[PhoenixPrime]

I might do one tomorrow, but I can't just be writing this story all the time. When will I have time to play video games, or practice for the battles, or write my other stories?



Just wait til you see the new character of the new faction that I revealed. (Won't spoil it for folks.)

[Juggernaut9473]

and the plot thickens

[silversleek]

I can't just be writing this story all the time. When will I have time to play video games, or practice for the battles, or write my other stories?

your only option is to resign from the battles, destroy your consoles, and wipe your hard-drive. then you'll have almost no distractions from writing.

[Juggernaut9473]

if he wipes his hard-drive then he wont have our story that we all love so much

[PhoenixPrime]

Either that, or I start charging you people two dollars a pop for each installment ;)



I'm working on the next right now. Victor will be interrogated, the Brutes will arrive to engage the Imperials, and Delta and Omega will lose yet another member. I think this fight is actually even better than when Task Force Epsilon and BRAVO had their showdown.




Who do you think will die?

[silversleek]

how about vcash?

shut up and take my money!

500 vcash for every full sized installment that you post by friday.

[ChillSquishster]

We need an update! You promised one every week and its been over two weeks since the last one

[PhoenixPrime]

I have three updates on my laptop, but setting as I'm in the hospital, you guys might have to wait. I know you'll enjoy them though!

[Juggernaut9473]

i knew there was a reason, but im the patient one :P

[PhoenixPrime]

New update today folks, fresh off the presses.


The plot will most certainly thicken, and the true threat of the Brotherhood will be revealed. This threat will be so great, that perhaps both BRAVO and Task Force Epsilon will have to band together to face this oncoming threat.

[Juggernaut9473]

Awesome instalment. Can't wait for the next one

[PhoenixPrime]

I'm pretty much done with the next one. Might even be up tonight. (I'm feeling generous.)

[Juggernaut9473]

Lol sweeeet :)

[ChillSquishster]

I am so excited! This story is getting more amazing with each part being posted up.

Minor spoiler alert to those who haven't read it:

Thanks for not killing me so far xD

[PhoenixPrime]

Yeah, so far. I'm putting a new installment in today, which will introduce the new Sabres and just how advanced Lara really is. (So far, we've seen an AI of Cortana's caliber, but Lara is significantly more powerful than that.)

[ChillSquishster]

Yeah, so far. I'm putting a new installment in today, which will introduce the new Sabres and just how advanced Lara really is. (So far, we've seen an AI of Cortana's caliber, but Lara is significantly more powerful than that.)

Yay for more story!!

Although now I know I will eventually die :(

[Juggernaut9473]

update?

[silversleek]

whoa, was not expecting that.

[Juggernaut9473]

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE






































please?

[ChillSquishster]

It has been over 3 weeks since we have had an update, can we please have another?? After the last one I am dying to find out what happens next

[PhoenixPrime]

Let's just say that the Brutes are not going to go about this peacefully...

[ChillSquishster]

Finally! Another great update. Can't wait to see what happens with the other team

[Juggernaut9473]

YAY FOR UPDATES

[Raider0614]

This story is so damn cool. Damn, I must admit. I'm really jealous of your storytelling, Phoenix. Consider me a fan.

[PhoenixPrime]

I was wondering how long it would take Juggernaut to see the new update. Took me forever to write that. I rewrote it about eight times, and just decided that I wasn't cool with the Colonel dying this chapter. Therefore, he lived.


I also thought about having Victor die, but figured that was a real douche move.


Thanks Raider, glad I've got a new fan. :)

[Juggernaut9473]

I was wondering how long it would take Juggernaut to see the new update.

its not my fault you had me hooked on the story since the 1st chapter...and i was a fan before it was cool <_< lol

[ChillSquishster]

I also thought about having Victor die, but figured that was a real douche move.

Yes it would have been :P Great update, now let's hope we don't have to wait another couple months for another update

[PhoenixPrime]

Glad you guys really enjoyed it. I'm working on the next one right now, actually.



Which is your favorite character?

[Juggernaut9473]

The Colonel...definitely the Colonel

[VerbotenDonkey]

I actually thought that the Colonel was going to die when I was reading that xD It would have been ironic if Loco's character died the same day he decided to post a topic again xD

My favorite is Lucius Black of course. Then again, he was my character so of course I'm fond of him. :P

[Juggernaut9473]

yes but he didn't take a Brute Chieftain on head to head and win =P

[PhoenixPrime]

Currently, I'm torn between Deckard and the Colonel for favorite character. Deckard is what you would call a warrior by necessity, whereas the Colonel is just an absolute monster in close-quarters engagements.

As you saw, he took down a Brute in a hand-to-hand fight. I had originally intended for him to be unable to stop the hammer from coming down on his head, but I just couldn't do it.

[Juggernaut9473]

which is exactly why the Colonel is the best character so far :)

[PhoenixPrime]

The next chapter will begin from Lara's perspective, since she's the only person who can have a fleet-wide perspective. The rest of the Brute fleet will arrive, and we're going to see that raw power of the Covenant we got used to seeing in the Human-Covenant War.

[Juggernaut9473]

oh boy, this is gonna be good :)

[PhoenixPrime]

Oh yeah, I'm toying with the idea of just how to define Lara, as she is thousands of years old, yet her first conscious contact with sentient life came about when she activated inside of Deckard's armor.


In other news, Juggernaut got the 200th comment in this topic. Congrats.

[Juggernaut9473]

In other news, Juggernaut got the 200th comment in this topic. Congrats.

lol making sound like i won a contest =P so whats the prize XD

[Juggernaut9473]

another great update. Nearly missed it cuz my phone is retarded

[silversleek]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=angi1vwUkQc

xD seriously though, i've been going through some of the stories here, and when will you continue? this really was one of the better ones. (no offense to other authors here, you're stuff is still good <3)

[Juggernaut9473]

I helped him write part of the next installment so he had better put it up soon <_<

[ChillSquishster]

You are lucky your story is so damn good otherwise I would be more angry at you for making us wait so much :P

[silversleek]

>insert praise here<

[silversleek]

>insert begging here<

[Lol its James]

xD seriously though, i've been going through some of the stories here, and when will you continue? this really was one of the better ones. (no offense to other authors here, you're stuff is still good <3)

Please start this again. Just started reading it again. I want my character to be featured soon xD