View Full Version : REDWATCH Chapter 1

09-25-2012, 08:14 PM


“Feet First”
August 26, 2594 23:27
Gunnery Sergeant [CLASSIFIED] A.K.A. “Raider”
Aboard the REDD Valkryie

“How you holdin’ up, Dust?” Raider asked the tall, lean silver Spartan with the exposed head of neatly parted, brown hair and pale skin leaning on the bulkhead in front of him, “you nervous?”

The Spartan referred to as Dust looked off into the distance.
“No,” he solemnly replied in a refined British accent. Raider observed as Dust subconsciously fiddled with a golden locket in his hand. Raider was used to Dust’s signature apathetic, single worded responses but today Raider could hear some sort of distraught in his voice. Raider glanced at the golden locket in Dust’s hand. It was open and Raider could see the clean picture of a young woman smiling. Her short, jet black hair stood out from her white bride’s dress. Her smile was as eloquent as the life radiating from her eyes. Raider knew who the woman was.

“How is she?” Raider asked. Dust looked down at the open locket and back at the much shorter Spartan. “Safe,” he simply replied and snapped the locket shut instantly. “Listen, bro, I know you never disappoint but ya gotta promise me something, ‘kay? I need you to stay focused. It’s gonna get messy down there…a-and …and I promised her I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, man.”

“I said I’m fine” Dust snapped storing the locket in a pouch on his left thigh. To Raider’s knowledge, he understood why Dust seemed stressed at the moment. Dust had been making a video call to his wife when she suddenly when into labor. Needless to say, the call was ended abruptly and Dust was not looking forward to a combat drop-especially not after knowing he had a son now back on Earth. Raider turned around and picked up a polished sniper rifle up off a table covered in ammo and dismantled guns. He then turned back to Dust and pushed the rifle into Dust’s arms.

“You’re my brother. If anything were to happen to you, I would take care of your kids,” Raider swore to Dust who was hesitating to grab the rifle, “…we’re jumping into hell, man…and I need to you to get prepped for a combat drop.” Raider could see it in the eyes of his old friend Dust that he was thinking about what Raider said about his kids. As if it were some silent acceptance, Dust grabbed the sniper rifle that Raider was offering and cradled the sheer weight of it in his arms. He shoved a cartridge full of rounds into the sniper rifle.

5 days later…

August 31, 2594
Brigadier General [CLASSIFIED] a.k.a. Artemis
REDWATCH Special Forces
Location Unknown

The blunt end of the red plasma rifle crashed into Artemis’ cheek with vicious force causing his head to turn to the side, spraying a red mist on to the sand covered floor. Artemis slumped into the chair he was tied to and he let out a short burst of pain with his voice. His auburn hair was soaking with sweat and blood ran down the side of his mouth. He was still in his Spartan armor minus his ODST helmet. His CQC shoulders seemed to be bulging against the plasma wire constricting his body. Sitting next to Artemis in his own constraints was a latino man much shorter than Artemis. The latino man appeared young compared to Artemis and his shaggy, black hair clung to his forehead from sweat. The latino man had a bulging black eye and dark blood trickled from a nostril of his prominent nose. He was also wearing Spartan armor minus the helmet. His armor appeared more streamline than Artemis’ for its design was for aquatic purposes. He looked up at the bulking figure that towered in front of him. His assailant was large, apish alien who had random plates of welded metal strapped around his body for armor. This type of alien was known as a Brute and the name was an understatement.

“Once more!” a man in a turban brooding in the corner commanded his crony. The brute acknowledged the man’s command and sadistically smacked Artemis once more. The smack had a sounding crack and had enough force to knock Artemis to the floor where he remained strapped to his chair. Artemis yelled in pain.

“Heh, sounded like you really liked that one. You going to talk now?” the turban man sneered with his arms crossed as he slowly began to walk across the room toward the two captives.

The room appeared to be inside of some, sandstone ruin and light filtered in from glowing, forerunner designed windows. The floor was covered with sand and the two brutes and the turban man had only brought two chairs into the room for their captives and nothing else. “Tell me where the Gavel’s Sound landed,” the turban man hissed at Artemis whose right side of his face was covered in sand.

“Even if, urgh, I knew…I would…never tell, guh, you,” Artemis coughed out.
The turban man pulled out a magnum from his hip and pushed the nozzle against the side of the latino’s head. “Is that so? Well then, I guess I’m going to have to spill your little friend’s brains all over you?”

“Go to hell, cabron” the latino cursed in Spanish at the man.

The turban man frowned and began choking the latino with his right hand while his left hand press the gun against the latino’s head. “Poor choice of words,” the man grumbled as his vice grip began to make the latino’s face turn a scarlet red. The brutes watching both let out low, deep snorts of laughter. Artemis was about to speak when the gunshot rang throughout the room.

Blood and brain splattered all over Artemis’ face as he recoiled from the deafening sound of the sniper shot. Artemis opened his eyes to see a headless corpse beside him. A knife quickly dug into the binds and landed in his hands, freeing Artemis from the chair. Multiple gunshots and plasma bolts flew across the room. Artemis turned to see the latino standing using the headless corpse of the turban man as a body shield while he used the bloody magnum to trade shots with the brutes on the other side of the room. Artemis grabbed a chair and hurled it at the surprised brutes who had forgotten about him when the chaos started. The chair bounced off the Brute’s arm, disorienting his line of fire. By the time, the brute had focused on Artemis, he dived into the brute with a serrated combat knife in hand.

The latino dropped the plasma burnt corpse and steadied his aim at the other brute. His bullets tore into the brute’s wide neck, purple blood gushed out of the wound accompanied by desperate, dying gurgles. The latino aimed at the other brute that was now tangled with Artemis. Artemis had plunged a knife deep into the brutes shoulder but the brute was now putting up more of a fight and wailing crushing blows against Artemis’ ribcage. The two of them were now rolling all over the sand in combat. “Shit!” the latino cursed as he realized he couldn’t make the shot without possibly shooting Artemis. He sprinted toward the two and kicked his boot as hard as he could into the side of the brute. The brute aimed his spiker and fired bolts of metal in the latino’s direction.

Artemis, with all of his strength, pushed the brutes arm to the side causing the bolts to miss except for one that hit and knocked the blood soaked magnum out of the latino’s hand. The latino side kicked the gaping, salivating jaw of the brute knocking him off Artemis. The two scrambled up on to their feet. Artemis dived into the brute, pushing him against the sandstone wall. The brute angrily shoved the bayonet of his spiker into Artemis but the bayonet ended up getting lodged into Artemis’ CQC shoulder. The brute roared right before the latino placed a shot in the brute’s forehead causing violet-colored blood to splatter on Artemis’ auburn hair. Artemis let the lifeless body fall to the sand.

“Raider,” Artemis coughed out referring to the latino who rushed to Artemis’ hunched body, “we need to get *cough* out of here.” “Stay with me, sir, you’re gonna make it,” Raider said as he sterilized and wrapped some gauze that he pulled out from his medkit around Artemis’ head that was bleeding from blunt injuries, “dios mijo, man, they really did number on you” Raider said under his breath as he finished tying up the gauze.” “You’re not so pretty yourself ,” Artemis retorted looking at Raider’s black eye. Their captors had tampered with their armor and evidently their shields weren’t functioning. Artemis then tugged the knife out of the brute’s chest and flipped the handle towards Raider who grabbed it and slid it in its sheath. Raider handed Artemis a Brute Plasma Rifle. It was still hot. He held the strange, alien weapon reluctantly. It was too messy for his taste but it was better than nothing. Automatic gunfire rang outside the building making Artemis and Raider snap into a defensive position, pointing their guns at the doorway. “We’re breaking out of here,” Artemis said under his breath. Raider nodded.

Artemis and Raider slipped out of the building with their guns raised. The vast desert secluded the small forerunner ruins to a valley of dunes swept by the night’s howling winds. Raider and Artemis spotted several brutes on top of a sandstone structure firing their spikers toward the dunes afar. “Sneak up from behind…wait for my signal to shoot,” Artemis said, trying to hold the pain in his voice. The two sneaked across the sand and climbed on to the roof the ruin. Raider put his back against a pillar while Artemis darted across the roof (unbeknownst to the brutes) and took cover behind another pillar.

Thunder boomed across the desert and a spontaneous storm began to roll in. The brutes had their backs turned to the pair and they continued to light up the night with plasma bolts. Whatever they were shooting at in the dunes retaliated and a chunk of a brute’s head chipped off and rolled down the roof. Artemis aimed his plasma rifle at the sound of the sniper round and splashed bolts of plasma on the backs of the oblivious brutes. Raider began charging toward the enemy with his magnum in hand and knife in the other. When the brutes turned around, Raider pounced on the one farthest from the left and stuck his combat knife up the alien’s chin. Raider went down to the floor with the body and raised his magnum to fire at the group of brutes. The brutes were now confused as their numbers shifted their focus from the dunes to Artemis who relentlessly melted them with their own weapons.

The brutes went into a rage and charged at Artemis’ pillar with a bloody roar and their spikers at hand. Artemis shot the incoming horde with several blasts but it only slowed them down. A brute with a gravity hammer swung at Artemis, crushing the pillar before his blow. Artemis quickly rolled from the attack but the gravity pulse knocked him down. His exposed head hit the sandstone with a sick “THWACK” but the adrenaline pumping in his veins pushed him back on to his feet with his gun ready. Raider saw the horde closing in on his CO and hurled his combat knife at a brute that had began firing his weapon. The knife soared across the night sky and plunged into the brute’s head. The brutes fire their weapons on Artemis while the larger leader closed in on his prey with his hammer high above his head. Sniper rounds slithered into the sides of the brutes as their number depleted. The force of the bullets knocked each of the hit brutes off the roof and they fell on to the sandstone below. Thunder crashed once more and the rain continued as the combatants desperately skirted across the roof. The hammer-wielding brute swung the massive weapon at Artemis who duck and closed in to the bulking alien. Artemis shoved his plasma rifle against the gut of the brute knocking the wind out of him. He then proceeded to firing, causing the brute to convulse violently as the hole on the other side of his torso spilled charred organs and blood. Artemis kicked the burnt corpse off of him and let it slide off the structure. “I told you to fire at my signal,” Artemis said, “not stab them.” “Sorry about that sir,” Raider replied panting, “I thought I was going to miss if I shot.”

The sound of roaring vehicles in the horizon screamed in the wind and Raider and Artemis turned toward the dunes. A battered, desert khaki warthog with a loose fender was speeding down the dune towards them. A mile behind the Hog were a pack of Choppers and a Hornet gunship wailing white hot hunks of metal and bullets at the hog. Some of the choppers’ shots strayed off and flew by Raider. The two jumped down the structure and rolled on the white sands where a warthog was closing in on them. A silver Spartan with a helmet that had a bulky scanner that covered most of the visor and a sniper rifle strapped to his back was driving the warthog. Artemis tried to jump into the warthog but a sudden surge of pain stabbed him in the sides. The pain was starting to kick in. Raider looked back to see Artemis on crawling on his hands toward the hog, his teeth gritted and eyes wincing. Raider ran back and pulled Artemis over his shoulder. “What are you doing? Get out of here!” Raider ignored Artemis’ command and placed him down on to the passenger’s seat. His eyes widened when he noticed the giant chunk of metal lodged into Artemis’ side. Blood leaked out of the hole in his armor. “Fuck! Stay with me, sir! You’re making it out of this!” Raider said as he climbed on to the turret. “Dust! Get us out of here!” Raider shouted over the pounding sound of machine gun bullets. Dust had already began driving before Raider had said it.

“November 2 to Redhawk, requesting immediate evac, November 2 to Redhawk, requesting immediate evac!” Dust screamed into his comm. “Copy, November 2, evac heading your way” a static fused voice replied in the comm.

Artemis’ vision began to blur as he began to feel the life slip from his body. He rolled his eyes and for a moment, beyond the roars of the warthog’s turret and the sound of the Choppers and Hornet closing in, he noticed the gleaming stars in the obsidian sky.

Massive gusts of wind pushed Artemis against his seat as a giant Pelican Gunship flew right above their heads. The pelican soared ahead of the hog and the cargo door fell open as a makeshift ramp that skirted across the fleeting sands. Artemis could hear Raider’s yelling as the turret overheated and the chopper’s shots hit the turret’s frame. Dust drove the warthog up the ramp into the pelican. The door closed but the firing continued outside. The brutes’ fire dented the walls of the pelican like a fearsome force beating its way inside. Raider jumped off the turret and rushed toward Artemis whose eyes rolled to the back of his head. He was still breathing. Dust rushed to assist Raider pick Artemis off the chair and lay him down. The turbulence of the pelican rising caused the warthog to slam against the cargo door, opening it. All three of them began sliding out of the cargo hold towards the open maw that faced the desert where the hungry choppers continued their chase. Raider immediately clung on to Artemis’ collar but his grip on the other hand slipped and he let go of the wall he was cling on to. Dust immediately grabbed Raider’s loose arm and held on the wall with all his strength. The back of the pelican began smoking and erupted in fire. “WE’RE GOING DOW-“ the pilot screamed before the fuel rod blast hit the pelican.

Artemis woke up to the sound of the crashed pelican burning. Rain continued to drizzle and the cool drops pattered his head. He could see the motionless body of Dust beside himself, half of Dust’s body was covered in debris. A figure started moving from underneath a pile of sand and metal. Raider emerged crawling on his hands. He collapsed and crawled many times before he made his way to Dust. He rolled his body over to see that Dust’s visor had been broken. Raider could see his blood covered face underneath. The explosion must have deafened Artemis for he did not hear Raider shouting at Dust’s body and shaking Dust’s with his hands while his tear began to swell up in his eyes. The smoke coming from the downed pelican filled Artemis’ nostrils with a sick smell of death. The choppers circled the wreak ominously like vultures. A lone figure began walking over towards Raider. Raider was hunched over Dust with his back facing the approaching figure. Artemis swallowed a gulp of vomit and blood and squinted to get a better view. A BLUE Spartan loomed above Raider with a plasma pistol aimed towards his back. Raider slowly lifted his head from Dust’s chest. Raider swiftly reached for the magnum at his hip but the BLUE Spartan fired a green bolt of plasma into Raider’s back. Raider fell to the side crumpled up beside Dust. Artemis tried standing up but that’s when he noticed the metal spike jutting out of his side. Artemis wobbled side to side before he managed to hold on to one of the pelican’s wings. He began to pull himself back up but he collapsed and fell on to the sand. The BLUE Spartan pointed his pistol at the struggling Artemis who had not given up. The BLUE marched towards Artemis with his pistol raised but he was not threatened by Artemis. Artemis could see the BLUE Spartan tilt his head as if he were silently examining Artemis’ face before walking closer. The BLUE was beginning to bend down and pick up Artemis when the BLUE suddenly looked up. Artemis turned his head to see that a convoy of Scorpion tanks and warthogs mounted with REDD soldiers surrounded the wreck and choppers. The BLUE’s shields popped soon as he was mulched to a bloody pulp along with his brutes. The machine gun fire shook the sand underneath Artemis. The BLUE was turned into a pile of flesh and bone from the amount of bullets that tore into. Artemis could see REDD Spartans rushing toward him before everything faded to black.

09-25-2012, 08:33 PM
haven't had the chance to read it yet, but i gotta say space the paragraphs farther apart, wall of text hurts the eyes and makes it hard to read >_<

attempting to read just about.................... ......................... ......now

09-25-2012, 08:45 PM
haven't had the chance to read it yet, but i gotta say space the paragraphs farther apart, wall of text hurts the eyes and makes it hard to read >_<

attempting to read just about.................... ......................... ......now

Thanks for that. I tend to forget about my spacing. I hope its bearable now.

BTW Verbotendonkey is Artemis.

09-25-2012, 08:54 PM

Good Chapter. Still have to start that interactive story as well.

09-25-2012, 08:58 PM
Thanks for that. I tend to forget about my spacing. I hope its bearable now.

BTW Verbotendonkey is Artemis.

much better, and after reading it i am liking it. keep up the good work :) its cool to have so many people who are good with writing stories

09-25-2012, 09:02 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embe dded&amp;v=Iqu9cTeAOSU

i like the first chapter alot

Lol its James
09-25-2012, 10:43 PM
This is really good, :D

09-25-2012, 11:21 PM
Nice story... Sadly, I don't read much unless I have to, so I only got done with the first paragraph. Now I'm going off to do something else...

09-26-2012, 12:13 AM
Nice job.

09-26-2012, 05:16 PM
This made me cream all over te keyboard . Great job!

09-26-2012, 09:24 PM
Thank you everybody for the criticism and comments :) Means alot.

What was the point of Opocilipse's comment?

09-26-2012, 10:06 PM
a troll is a troll no matter how you see it raider

09-26-2012, 10:19 PM
That is no troll. Either he was being rude or...I don't really know...

09-27-2012, 01:42 AM
Many apologies... I did not mean to come off as rude or a troll. From what I read so far, I was interested in it. I just didn't have the time to read it and I don't really get into reading as much as I used to. Not a troll, but I realise now that my post was pointless and could be seen as rude... Don't listen to Reaper though... He's just maaad =P