I have made several changes to the intro, in the hopes of it becoming more suitable. Enjoy:
BEFORE:
AFTER:
I hope the newest version is at least an improvement from the first; any and all constructive criticism is welcome.
#Be sure to watch in HD for best quality.
It's definitely better! I forgot to mention before, it does look like the text is not centered. Like the r in Forerunner is running into the logo. Like it needs to be scaled back a bit to center the text properly. Also, still not a fan of that text. Looks too flat, not overly professional like the rest of it. Makes it stick out. Overall though, definitely looks good! Fits FC well.
Joined April 2007 Founder of the LARP Founder of the Imperial Office of Naval Intelligence
Squads led: Halo 3 Era: XO of Wolf Squad, CO of Nova Squad Halo Reach Era: CO of 1st Marines Platoon, CO of Foxtrot Squad, CO of Wolfpack Squad, CO of REDWATCH Special Forces Halo 4 Era: CO of REDWATCH Special Forces, Director of Imperial Office of Naval Intelligence and Project ARTEMIS, CO of the Dark Sail Raiders Halo 5 Era: CO of REDWATCH Special Forces
What Verboten said is true, the text is the main focus it tells the view who we are. Go for a Halo-esk font not, THE Halo font. That is just a tip to avoid being a little cheesy. The biggest problem so far is the fact everything is at a different contrast. The Emblem is a bit blurry, the FC is sharp and stands out, and the Text blends in with the background on top of being covered by the TV screen effect. So I would say put the TV screen effect in the background. That way the background is simple but not plain and it, and will focus your eye to the text and FC emblem. Since those will not be distorted. The choice of music is better, but its still more of an emotional piece. For good music you might have to look beyond Halo. I would look for something similar to the Battlefield 3 opening but with a bit more sci-fi sound. You have to put as much effort into the Audio as you did everything else totaled, so you might not get away with a copy and paste.
Just out of curiosity who made the FC logo and emblem, and what font was used. I'll redraw it by hand if I have too.
Character Name: Lucian A-051
Character Faction: Brotherhood
Character Personality: Adrenaline Junkie, Quick-Thinker, Soloist, Competitive, Taunter
Character Skills: -Close Quarters Combat, -Sniping, -Infiltration
Character Bio: A Spartan - III Headhunter , A-051 excelled at dangerous missions and enjoyed the chaos of the conflict. After his Last mission which resulted in the death of his partner, he was adrift many years staying alive only because of Cryo-sleep. The Ship was found by a Imperial patrol and brought Research Facility for study. For weeks he torturous examinations, They wanted to gather as much data on UNSC era Spartan-III to improve their own troops . Near the End of the Reach Wars, the Brotherhood raided the facility for supplies. Among the prototypes they find Lucian, A Relic of the UNSC Era. The UNSC Loyalists Take him back too their Command and re-equip him and unleashed him upon the Empire. Lucian Fights in every conflict he can no matter how small.
Lucian is use to fighting in pairs and against overwhelming odds, He makes use of his skill with Firearms, deception, and Stealth. During the UNSC era, He was was known for taunting his enemies with Holograms. He excels with any weapon and any range.
Character Name: Nara
Character Faction: Brotherhood
Character Personality: A.I. Intelligence, Cold, Task Oriented,
Character Skills: Infiltration, Subterfuge, Spying.
Character Bio: Nara has been Lucian's AI for over a year now, gaining much experience in combat situations. Over that Year she has learn many things to help boost Lucian's survival rate, despite his risky behavior. She specializes in entering enemy systems and altering, hacking them and retrieving data without them knowing. She keeps several viruses locked up for scrambling enemy systems, and for stopping or slowing hostile A.I.
Character Name: Serin Osman S019
Character Faction: Brotherhood
Character Personality: Direct, ONI Agent, Spartan Training, Long Term Planner,
Character Skills: -Subterfuge, -Spying, -Infiltration
Character Bio: Admiral Serin Osman, formerly SPARTAN-019. Abducted in 2517 as a SPARTAN-II candidate, Osman failed the augmentation process and was recruited into ONI. Considered as a "protege" to Admiral Margaret Parangosky, the Director of Naval Intelligence, she has groomed the former Spartan for a potential future as her successor. She is also known for 'in-your-face' way of answering people. She was hand picked by Parangosky to lead a diplomatic mission to Sanghelios after the war, giving her connections to several powerful and important Covenant Leading Figures.
When The UNSC became the Empire, Osman was lost in the internal power struggle and hated how the UNSC was changing. She left to rally support for what would become a large part of the Brotherhood Forces. Spending much time traveling from contact to contact, the cryo sleep causing her to age considerably less than expected.
Prowler “The Phoenix's Delusion
Crew 3 Naval Officers
Commanded by Serin Osman
Plato-Class Stealth Corvette x 5
with crew and AI
Plato-Class Stealth Corvette”DG1”
250 Naval Officers
3 Teleportation Boarding Craft
Non-Crew
Brotherhood Ground Officer x 10
Brotherhood Orbital Drop Shock Troopers x 90
Gear
ODST Battle Armor x 100
MA5D Assault Rifle x 20
BR55 Battle Rifle x 20
M90 Shotgun x 30
M7 Caseless Submachine Gun x 30
M9 HEDP Fragmentation Grenade x 100
Flashbang Grenade x 100
Armor Piercing Rounds x 30
Plato-Class Stealth Corvette”DG2”
250 Naval Officers
3 Teleportation Boarding Craft
Non-Crew
Brotherhood Ground Officer x 10
Brotherhood Orbital Drop Shock Troopers x 90
Gear
ODST Battle Armor x 100
MA5D Assault Rifle x 20
BR55 Battle Rifle x 20
M90 Shotgun x 30
M7 Caseless Submachine Gun x 30
M9 HEDP Fragmentation Grenade x 100
Flashbang Grenade x 100
Armor Piercing Rounds x 30
Plato-Class Stealth Corvette”DG3”
100 Naval Officers
3 Teleportation Boarding Craft
Non-Crew
Brotherhood Ground Officer x 10
Brotherhood Orbital Drop Shock Troopers x 90
Gear
ODST Battle Armor x 100
MA5D Assault Rifle x 20
BR55 Battle Rifle x 20
M90 Shotgun x 30
M7 Caseless Submachine Gun x 30
M9 HEDP Fragmentation Grenade x 100
Flashbang Grenade x 100
Armor Piercing Rounds x 30
Plato-Class Stealth Corvette”DG4”
100 Naval Officers
3 Teleportation Boarding Craft
Non-Crew
Brotherhood Ground Officer x 10
Brotherhood Orbital Drop Shock Troopers x 90
Gear
ODST Battle Armor x 100
MA5D Assault Rifle x 20
BR55 Battle Rifle x 20
M90 Shotgun x 30
M7 Caseless Submachine Gun x 30
M9 HEDP Fragmentation Grenade x 100
Flashbang Grenade x 100
Armor Piercing Rounds x 30
Plato-Class Stealth Corvette”DG5”
100 Naval Officers
3 Teleportation Boarding Craft
Non-Crew
Brotherhood Ground Officer x 10
Brotherhood Orbital Drop Shock Troopers x 90
Gear
ODST Battle Armor x 100
MA5D Assault Rifle x 20
BR55 Battle Rifle x 20
M90 Shotgun x 30
M7 Caseless Submachine Gun x 30
M9 HEDP Fragmentation Grenade x 100
Flashbang Grenade x 100
Armor Piercing Rounds x 30
- Changed the font.
- Re-positioned the text.
- Re-positioned the logo.
- Removed "TV Effect" from the text and logo.
- Replaced the soundtrack with a more dynamic sounding piece.
Hopefully with these changes, this version sees more light than beef (haha) than the previous versions but regardless, I welcome any and all constructive criticism as I fully believe this intro could work; it just needs a bump in the right direction.
#As always, watch in HD for best quality.
"Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty."
ON THE WATCH
REMEMBER REACH
Hahaha I actually liked the previous soundtrack better xD Other than that man, that's almost perfect in my eyes. I love it.
Joined April 2007 Founder of the LARP Founder of the Imperial Office of Naval Intelligence
Squads led: Halo 3 Era: XO of Wolf Squad, CO of Nova Squad Halo Reach Era: CO of 1st Marines Platoon, CO of Foxtrot Squad, CO of Wolfpack Squad, CO of REDWATCH Special Forces Halo 4 Era: CO of REDWATCH Special Forces, Director of Imperial Office of Naval Intelligence and Project ARTEMIS, CO of the Dark Sail Raiders Halo 5 Era: CO of REDWATCH Special Forces
It's not so much the soundtrack as the radio-guys stuff. I didn't like the sniper bit added at the end. I just liked the deep baritone drone of that guys voice. Meh, that's just personal taste though haha.
Joined April 2007 Founder of the LARP Founder of the Imperial Office of Naval Intelligence
Squads led: Halo 3 Era: XO of Wolf Squad, CO of Nova Squad Halo Reach Era: CO of 1st Marines Platoon, CO of Foxtrot Squad, CO of Wolfpack Squad, CO of REDWATCH Special Forces Halo 4 Era: CO of REDWATCH Special Forces, Director of Imperial Office of Naval Intelligence and Project ARTEMIS, CO of the Dark Sail Raiders Halo 5 Era: CO of REDWATCH Special Forces
Needs a better background, I think something like a file opening would be really neat. I really like the work, and audio. I wish I was able to do stuff like that, anyways thats just me.
VECTOR PLATOON
//work in progress\\
Recruitment: Message to apply.
Age: 21+
Faction: BLUE
Dishcord: https://discord.gg/33sZQb4
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