Hello again. It's been awhile since I have even touched this damned book. In case you don't remember me, my name is John. Sorry for the last entry. My family is no longer with me. They're in a better place now. It's been a few years since I visited my family during a raid by the Redds. Damn them.

I was walking on the farm, it was beautiful as ever....until the grounds shook from underneath me. The farmhouse, the farm, everything, was gone. In a mere matter of seconds, I lost my life and what I was fighting for. I watched as my daughter and my wife was killed. What did they do? Nothing. They were punished because of my actions. I joined the brotherhood, I made myself a target. I wanted them to kill me, but they didn't. They took the only thing I had left...my sanity, my family.

The nightmares are gone, and they've been gone for quite some time. After the night of my family's early departure, the nightmares and visions disappeared. They were right, the nightmares weren't dreams..they were predictions. Visions of the future one might say. I tried to change them, and I couldn't. Guess whoever said that the future can be changed never experienced what I have. I would give anything back for my family, but that is impossible. They're gone, and I'm just what the visions said I would be...a Killing machine.

I'm not phased by the gross truth of war, I embrace it. I don't look at death as a negative, but only as a teaching tool. I learn from others' mistakes and change the way I play my cards. If I play my cards right, I'll be lucky to be killed. But I seem to never win. What do I have to lose? Nothing, except the joy of hunting down Redds.

Yes, I'm darker. I'm emotionless. I'm even insane, but doesn't that define the true warrior? The true soldier? Isn't that what war molds us average men into?

Remember the first time I seen those decaying bodies, I couldn't handle it. The others' did, but I couldn't. Now I can. I embrace death as my teacher.

I even think about the most gruesome ways to take down my enemies, in order to get that extra credit from my superiors. I'm the perfect soldier. Emotionless, Fearless, Insane, the perfect killing machine.

What do you think of me reader? To whoever finds this journal, study this journal. Look through my entries and learn from my mistakes. I have clues hidden throughout this diary. I never mentioned a brother's name, nor did I mention my daughter's name.

Just remember. This is War. Death is the only real winner here, not you or me. Redd or Blue, man or son, we all lose. Either we die or our emotions do. And what makes us so different from those monsters that kill innocents? Nothing. War makes us forget our emotion, our only feeling that makes us human.


Until next time, John out.




Kill Count - 1000+
Death Count - Still praying